Las-gidi (acronym for Lagos), Nigeria’s former capital, often acclaimed as the most exciting city in the country. This metropolitan city is laced with beehive of activities. Perhaps, it also doubles as the most exciting city to drive. Who would argue? For those of you that think driving anywhere else in the whole wide world is tedious, herewith for new comers, and visitors, are a few basic rules of the road for driving in Las-gidi. First of all. U must identify the battalion to which u belong.
In the 1ST Battalion are the motorcyclists popularly known as “okada”. They’ve a pact with suicide………….do you grab what I’m saying? Pls, avoid them like plagues at all cost.
In the 2ND Battalion are the commercial bus drivers. Their buses are known by various names including: Danfo, Molue (literally means “I go beat you”, Bolekaja (meaning “come down, let’s fight”), Kabu-kabu, etc. Just as these names imply, they’re not the coolest specie on the face of the planet. Try & avoid them.
And in the 3RD Battalion are the” guys of the siren /escort riders, bullion vans, trailers etc. They’ve immunity against death. Besides, they get a medal for every scatch, and a certificate of bravery for every bash. Needless to warn u again to stay clear of them.
Finally, in the 4TH Battalion are the normal guys like me. All we have @ our disposal are big talks & empty threats. We seem to have no rights. Well, we sometimes employ “ogboju” (bravado) to get by.
Here are a few rules that may guide new comers to safely navigate the streets of Lagos:
· “Danfo” drivers believe they’re immortal. Don’t compete with them & don’t yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
· Never, ever stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under your wheels.
· Get used to “okada” riders saying things like “commot that scrap for road”, it’s normal, just ignore them& move on.
· Unless you’re bent on suicide, taxi cabs must always have he right of way.
· Accelerate when in doubt.
· Never drive behind a person whose head doesn’t reach the top of the steering wheel.
· The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Just grab it fast.
· It’s traditional in Lagos to honk your horn @ cars that move the instant their bumpers are touching the next car.
· When asking for directions, always ask @ least 3-4 people, because Lagosians claim to know every inch of the city including places they’ve not been to.
· Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
·Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary/available.
· At any given time ‘T’, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting the traffic to yield to you, else you’ll have to explain to the oncoming traffic that you look like zebra.
· Never use directional signals, since they only confound & distract other Lagos drivers, who’re not used to them.
· Register it @ the back of your mind, that there’s no such thing as a short cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that “short cut”.
· Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes & sometimes ‘carholes’ are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes & keep them on their toes.
· There’re also no such things as ‘one way’ in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction @ all times.
· Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding especially during rush hours.
You’ll certainly need all these; just keep moving n good luck.
Comments